Just Bad Dreams

Last night I had a terrible dream, or rather, nightmare.
I was struggling to stay afloat in freezing cold water, treading water while desperately reaching for something, anything to hold onto. While I don't recall  how I got there or why, I do recall being very aware that I was going to die, as if it was the only option. I felt my arms and legs slowing down, and my body go completely still. My thoughts immediately turned from trying to stay afloat to Cal's face. As I took my last breath, I thought about how I would never see his face again, see him even one day older, or get the chance to say goodbye and that I love him.
As I exhaled and slowly sank below the surface, I thought about what I'd plan to do next, after drowning in freezing cold water for reasons I couldn't explain, and how all my previous plans I made while living were for nothing.
I awoke a bit shaken, having a hard time pushing it aside and going back to sleep. As I reflected on it throughout the day today, a couple things became clear. First, it's easy to to compare life to the freezing water, and we're all desperately trying to stay afloat. Some of us tread water for longer than others, but sooner or later, we all end up at the bottom of the sea. "Life is what happens when were busy making plans..." and all that stuff.
Second, sometimes bad dreams are just bad dreams. If I was worried every time I dreamed of dying, being chased, hiding bodies, or generally unpleasant outcomes I would be worried a lot. My dreams are rarely pleasurable. However, if given the choice, I'll take the fearful, crazy, subconscious, death-by-drowning stuff at night, while living out my days in relative peace and reality.